Welcome to the first electronic edition of New Reflections Counseling's newsletter!  This is the electronic version of the March printed version (the April edition will be sent out in two weeks - if you know someone who would like to subscribe, or if you want to make changes to your subscription, you will find several options at the bottom).

Our mission at New Reflections is to open the doors of possibility by cooperating with the life changing work of the Holy Spirit so that our clients develop a clear picture of who they are in Christ and pursue God’s purpose in their lives. We support our clients when life does not seem to make sense, helping them to grow in the character and grace of Jesus Christ. We operate in the context of a Biblical, evangelical worldview using innovative, therapeutic, entertaining, and experiential methods of communicating God’s truth and grace.

Spring is finally here! It is time to tend to your gardens and plant some flowers, fruits and vegetables. It is also an excellent time to consider how fertile your ground is with respect to your heart and your relationship.

In Matthew 13, Jesus shares the Parable of the Sower. Jesus used the parable to speak about a person’s receptivity to God’s words. Let’s consider how God’s words apply to marriage. The four types of soil in the parable match up with four types of relationships.

Jesus makes it clear that the path is literally the hardest place to be. In marriage, when both people’s hearts are hard, look out, because they will either tear each other apart, or be so disengaged that no relationship exists. Either way, the result is a barren (unfruitful) relationship. An infertile, hardened heart will likely result in divorce. In Mark 10:1-12, Jesus explains that divorce is not God’s intention, but was permitted because of hardened hearts.

Jesus says the seed sown along the path is like someone hearing the words, but having no understanding. The ground is so hard – the seed cannot penetrate – so growth cannot begin. There is no life. This couple may be together only by habit and convenience. If this couple has not already given up, they are in danger of separation, divorce, or some type of extramarital affair.

This couple has experienced their relationship as easy so far. This type of relationship usually starts off quickly (received with joy) and may even appear to be thriving (shoots up quickly). This couple acts too quickly without considering if they can finish what they started; they act without really understanding.

This couple is unaware of the complexity of a relationship, which tends to propel the couple to seek the benefits of marriage before building a foundation to sustain the benefits. This impatience may show up, for example, as a financial crisis (debt) or as a pregnancy before marriage. Overall the couple is faced with the serious responsibilities of marriage before they are mature enough to resolve the complications. The complications then become crises.

This couple has the right idea, but they execute poorly. Intimacy between the couple is blocked or stalled. The couple has a high regard for marriage, but remains disconnected for lack of translating beliefs into action. It is like having a car in good working order, but no fuel. The marriage is also characterized by a lack of emotion and expressiveness.

The couple is distracted by worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth. There is a stranglehold on the marriage – choking it and making it unfruitful. While the potential is high, this couple has allowed too many weeds to grow in the garden of their marriage. The marital relationship is last on a long list of other things now more interesting.

This couple is both mature (having a high regard for marriage) and experienced (having acted out their convictions). Marriages are not born this way; they must be created, first through inspiration, then through perspiration.

Connection follows from belief. If the marriage vision is not renewed and revisited regularly, complacency can set in. Every couple is susceptible to the deterioration of their relationship. To prevent this, they  must regularly refresh their understanding of why they are doing what they are doing. They must have an answer to: “Why is the struggle worth it?” This couple will not drift as long as they continue to act on their beliefs.

As no person is perfect, no marriage is perfect. No matter which soil condition more closely describes your relationship, set your goal to increase your knowledge of marriage God’s way and then increase your practice of marriage. When you do this, you will be well on your way to yielding fruit one-hundred times what was sown.

MAP is a way for churches and other organizations to offer their members quality Christian counseling at an affordable rate. Through MAP we partner with you to make counseling feasible for your members.

We offer three different MAP plans to fit the unique needs of your congregation. An annual membership fee allows you to off our services to your members at a reduced rate. In addition, you can specify an amount you are willing to contribute to your member’s care. Depending on their income level, your members will have a copay for services. For full details email map@nrcounseling.com or call Kelly or Matt at 1-877-404-4707.